I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
