i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
