Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
