yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
