He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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