he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
