Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
