youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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