I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
