Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
