Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
