What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
