It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
