That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
