i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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