Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
