i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
