Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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