My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Vodka?
Forever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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