dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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