Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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