Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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