i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
