All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize