i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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