dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
