do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
