Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
