so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
