you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He felt like a one man threesome
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
