you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize