i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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