Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
