Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Found your dick twin last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want to make out with him forever
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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