We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
