no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
