Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
