Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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