I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
