His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
whose parrot is this?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
