p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
