i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
birth control should be required to get into college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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