when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
