I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
