saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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