Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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