He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
