Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
