You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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