the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
